le sigh le sigh

well, i've got lots of school work to work on....and by that i mean art work. namely ceramics. =\ i got behind while making the Alice in Wonderland themed creative mug for Gerard - i put a bitchload of effort into it. and now i've got to finish Mikey's Nightmare Before Christmas themed mug ASAP - AND put another bitchload of effort into it. O_O and then i need to get STRAIGHT TO WORK on my coil vase - which i also need to put a face onto. *is highly overwhelmed* i'm staying after school tomorrow for Olivia's performance (plus she's spending the night at my house) so maybe inbetween the end of school and the performance i can work on it. *head-desk*

this is how much i love MCR. LOL. xD i still needs to make Ray and Bob and Frankie somfin....*ponders* hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........................................

.........that's a lot of dots. LOL.

i'm bored. and sorta depressedly/angrily hyper - meaning one small thing goes wrong and i can drop like a stone in water from hyper to either super depressed or super pissed. =O i know, i'm weird.

what else to talk about....*think think think* OH! omg, i swear to god Winnie the Pooh is cartoon promotion for nudity. if you're gonna give one of them a shirt, give them ALL a FULL set of clothes dammit! jeeeeezzzz

lol, anyways. *rolls eyes* i need an actual life. and that, in itself, is the funniest joke ever. LOL

what the hell is wrong with my world

i've just gotten two of the sweetest comments on a story i'm writing when i left an author's note saying that i haven't updated cos of all the shit in my world. i started crying, because they are just amazing and so loving. and because i must lead a pathetic life if people i barely know care more than the people i've known for years.

but that doesn't make me love Mibba and those readers who care any less. i love how nice people are there. thank you, "Lullaby." and "Pfft" - you guys made my day.

I am only living out a lie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(title stolen from the lyrics of "Legal Assassin" from Repo! The Genetic Opera)

well...i took a huge leap yesterday and fell flat on my face. i told my mom that i had lied and that my boyfriend and i had had sex before. and she just looks at me and says "thanks for telling me" - which is her way of rejection.

so, i'm an emotional wreck, because of my gay ass mom, and being 300 miles away from my boyfriend, and the only people who really seem to listen/care/be my friends at school are Olivia and Blaine. WTF.

anyways, i've been a lazy, depressed mofo, and haven't updated my blog, or stories, or my other blog (with my artwork). and i feel horrible. *grimaces* i stayed home today, and slept all day and i still feel horrible and like i havent gotten any sleep. *rubs face*

i'm just waiting for the day when i just break down and bawl my eyes out at school. or break down and do something stupid and break the vows i made...like cut myself or something. gay....

any comments would be appreciated, as long as they aren't telling me i'm just a teenager and there are others out there that have it worse than i do. i get that enough from "friends". so if you've got ANYTHING negative to say, GTFO.

and go check out my art gallery: http://kittencubgallery.blogspot.com

Hear the sound, the angels come screaming down

oh my god, that song...even though im not very religious (monotheisticly anyways), that song strikes a chord. never heard it? well, YouTube it: Heaven Help Us by My Chemical Romance. so amazing....

sorry, it popped in my head and i decided to write it down. back to my yaoi ^w^

YAOI TIME???!?!?!!!!

hahahaha, i'm going thru one of my many obsession phases of yaoi....right now, it's focused on Death Note. mainly MelloxMatt and LxLight. xD

also, i figured out why i'm so emotional. r_r i'm on my period. I FUCKING HATE BEING A CHICK. *bites pillow and rips to shreds*

GAH! anyways. i'm bored out of my mind. and going to go read LxLight yaoi on FanFiction.Net (FFN) and set up a new GaiaOnline account....i sorta miss it. but i know once i get on that all the cool people i met aren't on there anymore. all of them are shit fucks these days...but it's a nostalgic place, since that's where Ashton and I met for the second time, but thoguht it was the first LOL

"Sunday I cried all night...."

engh, stole the blog title from "We Are Pilots" by Shiny Toy Guns. but i did cry my face off last night. it's not my place to say why, but i'm still depressed over it and pissed off. not to mention my insides are fucking up....i think i might be getting sick. FML. *head-desk* i just want to live next door to my boyfriend, instead of 300 miles away in a shitty school with shitty friends and shitty teachers. why is that such an impossible thing?!

'scuse me while i go ponder ways to kill myself.

i love how no one reads this. i wonder if i did kill myself if they'd even think about reading my blog to see if the reason i killed myself is on here....i'm not gonna do it of course, but that doesn't mean i can't try to think of a quick, painless, and not messy way to commit suicide, you know?

cos blowing your brains out = quick but leaves a mess for your friends and relatives. hanging yourself means you have to do it exactly right or you'll die painfully from suffocation instead of a snapped neck. cutting your wrists means slow, painful AND messy. so, i just need to find something that's all the positive sides of suicide....haha, i'm gonna write a song called "The Positive Side of Suicide". you just wait; when i'm a rockstar i'll be singing that song. =]

music does wonders.....and people wonder why emos love it...*rolls eyes*

100th POST! WOOT! lol

today is Friday (YES!) and i'm spending the night @ Olivia's house. xD i'll take pics for teh bloggingness.

and, i have a new blog. http://www.kittencubgallery.blogspot.com/ <---i'll be posting art work of mine soon - mainly new, and a few of my favs from ye olde days. lawlzy.

i still need to think of how to start off my VLog. it would feel awkward just jumping into the world....but i guess i just have to do that. =\ should i become YouTube famous no one will watch the very first, except the obsessed fans. LOL

speaking of obsessing, I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT MCR ALBUM! =] eet makes meh happeh. and Gerard and Lyn-Z's baby is going to be the cutest and most spoiled baby on earth. lol.

Olivia and i are going to like, Bedazzle some gansta hats and bibs....we're making one bib where it'll have blood splattered across it and it says "What you lookin' at, PUNK?" LOL!

*sigh* sitting in World History. =\ it's a boring day - we were watching a movie and then some lady came and pulled half the class (5 kids - yeah, our class has 10 kids....wtf) and now we're waiting for them to come back. >.<

ohhhhhhhhh, guess what? like, Tuesday? i think? idk. anyways, this little white dog was walking in the middle if the road and my mom picked him up. he has a collar but no tag and is a Maltese (sp?). he's adorable. and very nice.

i wonder why no one reads my blog. it's like my online diary....out there for everyone....and no one reads it. GAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY. lawlzy

doom de de doom doom.

yeah, i'm bored.

anywhozizzle, gonna go post a quick thing on my Gallery. =]

REPO! The Genetic Opera

"I look like a crime scene, Dad." -Amber Sweet (played by Paris Hilton - blech)

Paris, you ALWAYS look like a crime scene...the kind you'd find in a back alley of Vegas. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

anywhozizzle, "Repo! The Genetic Opera" was AMAZING! it has the guy who played Giles (or Jiles? idk) in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" (the series). and Alexa Vega ("Spy Kids" Carmen), and Sarah Brightman (if you haven't heard her sing you've not lived. she is a GODDESS).

oh god, i cried. the movie is amazing - BUT NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH. it's directed (i think, or produced) by the guy/people that brought us Saw. so, yeah, def gots teh blood and gore.

"Repo!" is set in the middle of the 21st century, where an epidemic of organ failure sweeps the world. and out of the tragedy rises GeneCo. they can help you cheat death, by giving you new organs. but fail to make a payment and the Repo Man will come and repossess your life.

=O insanely dark and gothic....I LOVE IT.

anyway i have to go to bed now. mom's bitching at me about how evil i am to myself for not going to bed right after i've seen this amazing movie. i've been living with her for 16 goddamn years and she still doesn't get that i can't just leave it at that. i HAVE to tell someone and gush about it and praise it. or totally put it down. either one.

anywhoozle, ttyl.

oops....

http://www.youtube.com/user/KittenCubOnYT <<-------forgot to put that on the last post. O_O

NEW YOUTUBE CHANNEL!!!!

i don't have any videos yet, but there will be some soon! but i don't know what to VLog about. =[ any suggestions? i just need to get started. writing/BLogging is easy once you get started......so i assume VLogging is too. help?

Def gotta get a VLog going. you know?!

so, VLog? hell yes. def got to start one. so i'll be making a new account on YouTube for my VLogging pleasure. hahaha, that sounds dirty.

the only problem is that my house is a very dim place. not in the eyes of the human, but in the eyes of my shitty camera. >.< so if anything's not blindingly bright it won't show up very well....GAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY. LOL.

anywhoozzle, watching YouTube!

New Blog? A Vlog?

i'm thinking about making another blog on here (since you can have multiple ones) called The Gallery. it's where i'll post my art and describe it...you know, like why i drew it and stuff.

and i'm thinking about starting a vlog too. on YouTube.

ttyl!

Scanning!

scanning pictures i drew right now. ma or may not post them up here. =\ but, i have to. G Way said to send art, and maybe he'll give me pointers...you know?

YouTube videos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUnefUbWf_M&feature=related - Matt and Mello's "Guy Love"! lol (song from the musical episode of Scrubs) (warning, yaoi/gay content)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvKRPt7DvIA&feature=related - Matt is the Geek in the Pink (warning, yaoi/gay content)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXcGrGQoGBo&feature=related - MattxMello (meaning a Matt and Mello pairing) to a cover of Britney Spear's Toxic. (warning, yaoi content)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYJgdyQxUeE&feature=related - MattxMello to Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns (warning, yaoi content)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Te5PWZqMPIM&NR=1 - MattxMelloxNear to Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake

You fucking Snitch...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88xxdZ2d4H4

hahahahaha, so random. but i love it. Harry's cameo..."You fucking Snitch..."

D-D-DAMN

i haven't posted in a while! wow....i need to keep posting. =P

anywhozizzle, do you know what i found out today? sxephil lives in Atlanta too! =O i know right?! he's awesome. love the Phillip DeFranco show. xD

now, i have a question...is it illegal to stalk a YouTube famous person?! lawlzy. anyways, if you don't know who i'm talking about, check out both his channels on YT:

sxephil: http://www.youtube.com/user/sxephil
PhillipDeFranco: http://www.youtube.com/user/PhilipDeFranco

i've come to believe that people in Atlanta are very blunt and to the point...like myself. and my friends. and sxephil.

in other news, i took a break from internet society these past few days. it felt sorta....refreshing. but, i found that my lack of ability to sleep/sleep itself has nothing to do with staying n the internet until 2 am on a school night....every school night. so, i still can't sleep. GAY.

speaking of gays, Day of Silence was last Friday (April 17, 2009). Day of Silence was a day where you were silent...of course. but the silence was to bring awareness to others that LGBT (lesbian gay bi transgender) teens are afraid to be proud of their sexuality because of the harassment and abuse against them. and you didn't have to be LGBT to participate and show your support.

and now dinner is ready. *salutes* off to melt my brain with the boob tube (television for those not savvy with old fart lingo - LAWLZY).

a picture to you, my lovelies.

my picture to you, dearies. =] isn't it wonderful?

Six Flags: More Flags, Pretty Shitty Fun

so, i now have a 2009 Season Pass to Six Flags! pretty awesome.

i went to Six Flags yesterday. also awesome.

i arrived at 3:00 pm. we parked, walked to the entrance, and got in line. by the time we got in it was 4:30 or 4:30. so, we immediately went and stood in line for The Mind Bender in Gotham City. we spent 2 goddamn hours in line, rode it, and tried our luck for the Goliath. the park closed at 8:00 pm. by the time we got through the line, on and then off the ride, and out to the car, it was 9:00 fucking pm.

lesson learned: just fucking skip school to go to Six Flags. totally worth it. Spring Break + Six Flags = NO FUN

what's new

uhmmmm, let's see. not much is new really. updated another one of my stories. =] that's fun.

and also, I'M GOING TO SIX FLAGS TOMORROW! WOOT! actually, it's today, since it's 4:10 am. lol. oh, and, on Tuesday, i went to my friend Daniel's birthday. xD how awesome?! very awesome. and we watched Fast and Furious. lol, after the scene where the gas truck is rolling towards them and Vin drives like a bat out of hell underneath it, Daniel leaned over and whispered loudly "I don't get it!" LOL. (and a note to everyone - Daniel was just saying that for comedic effect. just FYI.)

herm...what else? *ponders* OH!!!!!!! Ashton and my one year anniversary is on Sun/Mon! why both days? well, we live a time zone apart, so, when he asked me out, it was 11:04 pm his time and 12:04 am my time. pretty damn sweet. xD! so yuhp, our anniversary is on the way, and we look forward to many more together.

ooooh! the laptop is free now! time to play my Death Knight! and you wanna know how badass she is? it's an Unholy female Draenei Death Knight. oh yeah, so badass. not to mention i'll give her Engineering for a profession, so she can make a motorcycle someday. SO FUCKING BADASS! and she sexy as hell. i don't know if i've said it before, but i would totally bang/date a chick Draenei if they were real. don't know what i'm talking about? go Google it. xD

WoW-TASTIC!

so, WoW is consuming my life....AGAIN. LOL. 

but anyways, i've got a couple stories going, plus this blog, plus YouTube, plus Twitter (you should add me btw - http://www.twitter.com/KittenCub ), and Facebook....and now WoW. so, that's my very hectic internet life. my real world life is even worse. *head-desk*

so, i'm now off to force an update out of my brain for one of my stories.

The Catcher In The Rye

what is a Rye? really? i'm very curious....

anyways, i'm about halfway thru The Catcher In The Rye. i picked it up - truthfully - because of an interview with Gerard Way. they asked something about a book (i think it was what was his fav) and he said Catcher In The Rye. he said that he read it in college and that he liked it because it's very much like him (or his high school years). so i was like, ???? what is this? weird! let's go read it. and now, i'm sorta understanding how Gerard could identify with it, but a lot makes me go "huh? how is this Gerard?"

but i like it. Holden is very much like me. lets his mind just ramble on and on and on and on....like me. but i do less remembering and more fantasizing. like, making up 20 different scenarios of when i next see Ashton, and what i want to do with him, what i want to say. you know, that sort of stuff. =]

anyhoo, i recommend it. it's a great book, when it's not shoved down your throat by a teacher. LOL

boredededededededededededededededededededed

yup, bored. gonna start downloading mp3s and shit for Ashton's and for Daniel's CDs...and my own. yum. but right now i think i'll hit up WoW. haven't been on in a while.....

wow!

long time no see, eh? anyways, so, i've got a lot of internet shizz on my hands. got my stories i'm writing, stories i'm reading, stories i'm beta-ing (being the editor for), and then Twitter, Blogger, YouTube, Facebook and all my IMing. *dies*

and speaking of YouTube, i recently recorded five shoot of me lip syncing "Cemetery Drive" by MCR....let's see how awesome or failing my editing skills are to make this musc video. and if i even did anything right.

i felt weird taping some of the shoots. some people were around to hear me sing and watch me dance and shit....awkward. but i have to get used to it, if i want to be lead singer in a band! O_O but it was exhilarating. and funny. the one guy out there watching me the whole time looked like he didn't know whether to compliment me or be freaking out. lol. in the end he just watching me and smoked. LOL.

so, yeah, hmmm....i need MORE music on this damn playlist. >.<

OH! and it's Spring Break! YAY!