wow, long time no post

so, listening to ashton's playlist for me. =] YAY

it's WAY too hot in this house. i'm gonna fucking kill my mom. it's so hot the only way to stay cool is be NAKED - but even then i'm still TOO HOT

too cold at dad's, too hot at mom's....WTF. y'know what? let's go to ashton's. then it doesn't matter cos i'm with him. LOL.

hmmm

well.....apparently i've made my boyfriend think he's fucking our relationship up. =\ anywhoozle, i'm bored.

just finished part one of my Arabic final - which i totally failed. i don't even have to go and see my grade. i know i failed. >.<

i need to take Health online over the summer. for realz. *rolls eyes*

i should go get my music and chill....i'm too far gone to care anymore...WOW that's great lyrics. *starts writing song in head*

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

bored as hell. and i have to write a damn song for my World History class. but i got the easy era - 1960's. hell yes. Beatles and Grateful Dead, racism and civil rights, Detroit and San Fran. sooooooooooooooo easy. and i have GREAT music and lyrics to base it off of. xD

cept the 80's might've been fun....WEIRD SCIENCE! *starts dancing to Oingo Boingo*

bah, so hungry. i can't wait for lunch...which is in....30 FUCKING MINUTES. damn *head-desk*

as per usual, i am seated in World History.

i need to get my schedule for next year. >.< i KNOW they fucked something up. i KNOW it. and i can drop health, and take it online. *shudders* i hate health. not because we have to learn about STDs, just the WAY we have to. cos teachers think that the scare tactic way is gonna keep us from fucking each other. for real? that just makes us wanna rebel. i mean, seriously, if you say ABSTINENCE ONLY kids go FUCK YOU. if you say "this is sex, and the consequences of unprotected sex when you're too young to support a family, and might get a disease. and THIS IS A CONDOM. have safe sex." and kids go "wow, awesome....i don't feel the need to go get knocked up anymore. :D"

lol. anyways, i can drop health and get out of arabic, unless i failed this semester. and then that means....4 ART CLASSES! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! oh yeah, this is goooooooooooooooooooooood.

does anyone know how to make a flash animation???? cos that'd be really cool if you could teach me. lol.

urgh....something smells like wet dog in here. that's so gross. wtf smells like wet dog in a school?! gross gross gross.

i'm so damn boreddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

DON'T TRUST A HO

(title stolen from 3OH!3's "Don't Trust Me")

i can't trust anyone anymore. for real. not my mom, not my family, not my "uncle" or anyone. just Ashton and Olivia and Blaine and Austin. not even Ariel really, and that makes me sad.

because everyone looks at me and says "you're too young" "you're so overdramatic" "you don't understand" "you think you know everything, but you don't" and all this other SHIT. i don't need that. i don't need fucking pessimism in my life. the fucking douche fags.....

i swear to god, i'm gonna run away and live in Olivia or Ashton's closet. for real. i fucking hate living here. you know, i figured it out. i don't sleep well in my bed at my mom's or at my gma's, but i can sleep for HOURS on end and feel extremely rested when at my dad's. why? cos it's not poisoned with BULLSHIT. i need a place to sleep where i can know i'm not gonna wake up and get yelled at for being a lazy douche bag or whatever. i mean, during the summer at my dad's he couldn't give less of a fuck that i'm fucking nocturnal - he understands. and being nocturnal at my mom's makes life better....i don't have to deal with her or cassidy. and my gma's house is....unsettling. i don't like it. it's really big and creepy....i don't think i could live in a mansion.

but anyways.....i'm bout ready to slit my throat, or someone else's. i don't wanna go to school unless i get to hang with Olivia and Blaine and Austin....and Jordan (Austin's gf). she's nice. i fucking hate my life. i wonder if i could take my final tests (not finals, but the final test we get in class) early and then spend the last week in the art room. i feel so much better just stepping into that room. it's nothing but amazingness.

on the topic of art and summer, apparently there's an art camp up near my other gma's house, in Carlisle, PA. and she's gonna see about enrolling me into that and/or this horse riding camp. :D something to look forward to....hahahaha, i can't wait for the art camp. i bet that i'll be the only one who knows more than half of what we'll do/what it's called. xD because Mrs. Brandhorst is fucking awesome. she's a BAMF (Bad Ass Mother Fucker). i'm gonna tell her that tomorrow. xDDDDD

well, i feel better now that i've vented. =] too bad more people don't read this. =[ it makes me very sad.

DEE-NIED!

i'm so bored....you have no idea. i can't WAIT to get out of school. NO JOKE. for realz....plus WasteTimeChasingCars will be posting a LOT more videos =D hahahaha....

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
BORED. that's a lot of "m"s :D

i'm tired all the time too. >.< it's pissing me off. i could sleep for a whole 24 hrs and still be tired as CRAP. and then i could get 2 hrs of sleep and still feel the same level of CRAP. GAYYYY.

engh....oh well. ohhhh....i have an episode of CSI: NY waiting for me. xD

heh....i'm depressed. again.

gawd....i'm so pissed right now. SO FUCKING PISSED. i'm gonna kill somebody. for realz. *head-desk and shoots self* jesus christ.....

*growls*

i'm so very bored....

i have NOTHING in my brain ATM. for realz yo.......

so....i have nothing to blog about. why am i even here?! LOL

Screaming Dreams (a song i wrote)

Screaming Dreams

Lay there with your hair all perfect
Eyes glowing
Lips speaking
But I can't hear because I'm screaming
Holding my breath so I don't
Wake up

Because I never wanna wake up
If I'm never gonna see you again
I never wanna stop dreaming
But I can't stop screaming

Holding you close
But you're not there
Clawing at my chest to get my beating heart
Make it stop hurting
Make it stop bleeding
Make it stop screaming

Because I never wanna wake up
If I'm never gonna see you again
I never wanna stop dreaming
But I can't stop screaming

If dreaming
Will take me where I wanna be
Then I will sleep
Forever

Because I never wanna wake up
If I'm never gonna see you again
I never wanna stop dreaming
But I can't stop screaming

I never (Never wanna wake up)
If I never see you again (Ever again)
I never (Always wanna dream)
Stop this screaming!

Day of Sadness

so.....my eyes really hurt. you know when you go to the beach and swim around without goggles and wipe the salt water from around your eyes repeatedly all day? that was me, but with tears. *scratches under eyes* know it really hurts....but i feel better. a good cry is always good. not to mention Ashton made me feel immensely better.

unfortunately, i expect my spirits to drop the instant i wake up tomorrow - since i won't have contact with Ash for all of school. >_< it makes me a very unhappy Chinah.

anyways......i've got a vlog video in the process of editing....so, i'll give ya the link once i've finished it and put it up on YouTube.

Parry Gripp

why, my dear readers, hello there. let me introduce you to an artist my boyfriend introduced me to: Parry Gripp.

his songs are....stupid. no meaning to them, no reason really to make them. but that's what makes them so freaking awesome. go check him out: http://parrygripp.com/

nyah....bored.

sitting at dad's. =D

this weekend is senior banquet for my youth group....two years from now, i think only Olivia and i will be seniors, unless we get some friends to join in. which means....we could totally have a Nightmare Before Christmas themed senior banquet. =O!

anywhoozle, bored bored bored, and wanting something to do. so i'll go download some music. xD

BORED AS FUCK

so, i'm sitting here (well, kneeling since there are no computers for the damn chairs) in my Algebra 2 class.....BORED OUT OF MY EFFING MIND. *head-desk* and my knee hurts

anyways, you guys like "Fairy Tale"? i wrote it last night around like......midnight or 1am...idk. lol =P

AAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDD! i finally found a good subject to jumpstart my vlog with: THE SWINE FLU!!!!!!!! *runs around screaming head off like the apocalypse is coming*

SERIOUSLY people! the regular flu kills people too, but no one is freaking the fuck out about THAT one! jesus, everytime something new pops up the gov. and media feel the need to scare the living fuck out of us. why? idk. if this was like "Quarantine" or some new huge AIDS epidemic or like "The Andromeda Strain" i'd believe there was a plausible reason to scare the fuck out of people. but it's just a flu - some people will die. we all die one day, so get used to the damn idea.

now, for something completely different....the bell rang. good thing too, cos this keyboard is uber dusty and fucking with my OCD......

Fairy Tale

Ever sweet taste
Of morphine laced lips
Melt the pain away

While ocean tossed orbs
Sit like shining pearls
In beach tanned smooth skin

Forest of withered savanna
Tossed in the wind
And sigh in the sky

A cage of zen
Long and ever soft
Gentle and firm

Dog nuzzles
Cat scratches
Vampire kisses

Skipping free through the waves
And flying high upon rainclouds
Or laying beneath burnt moonlight

Always and forever
I can find my moving castle
And slumber happily